Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
