5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
