"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize