next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
