you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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