I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
