I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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