please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
