they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
