Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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