We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I could fuck to npr.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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