p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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