I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
