You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
