dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
