I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
