i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
