matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
