I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
