If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
