it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
