I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
