Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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