he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I need a beard to bite.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
