i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize