I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
