Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
