it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
