My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
