Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
