just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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