did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
