I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
