how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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