Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize