I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
