Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
