Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
