We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
