Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
