I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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