lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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