we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
