I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
