You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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