I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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