The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
