Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
don't judge my taste in strippers
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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