just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
