Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just want nice things and good sex
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
