drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
