that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
