Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
