His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
