"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
