I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
