I cannot find my penis.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Randomize
