Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
