4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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