What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
