Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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