White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
